Things That Annoy Me

I would have to say that there are three things that annoy me right now. The top annoying things in my life change on a regular basis, but as of right now, I have about a half hour to kill so I thought I’d write about the current three things that annoy me. The first is Facebook update feeds. The second is when people ask you stupid questions as a comment to your status update. And the third is the thing that always annoys me during football season: the Detroit Lions.

Facebook logo
Image via Wikipedia

Once when I was scanning the Cheezburger Network of sites, I came upon a

humorous graph. It depicted what a typical news feed looks like. It went something like this:

  • 1% Status Updates
  • 3% Likes
  • 96% Farmville Updates

 

Image representing FarmVille as depicted in Cr...
Image via CrunchBase

I laughed out loud. It’s funny because it’s true. Facebook isn’t about keeping up with the status updates of friends and family, thoughtfully expressing their opinions and letting you know what’s going on in a short 100 or so character burst of text. Now, the entire news feed that once contained friends’ status updates is completely dominated by Farmville notices: leveling up, finding others’ lost animals, requesting help for a barn raising. It’s really irritating, actually.

 

Image representing Google as depicted in Crunc...
Image via CrunchBase

Conventional wisdom dictates that the only stupid question is the one not asked. To heck with conventional wisdom. I say that there is such a thing as asking a stupid question. Any definitional question, e.g. “What is X?” posted to a status by an inquizitive friend, automatically qualifies as a stupid question. Allow me to explain.

When logged onto Facebook, you are, by extension, logged on to the Internet. This means that you have access to the entire Internet, not just Facebook. Google, the greatest search engine ever invented, is a part of this Internet phenomenon. Google can find the answer, literally in seconds, to any question relating to definition of terms.

Often, I post statuses that contain terms that some people may not understand. I’ve read widely and frequently research topics of interest to me. So, every now and again, I may unintentionally use a confusing term. Being that the person reading my status is hooked into the Internet, it would be child’s play for them to highlight the unfamiliar term, right-click it, and select “Search Google for…” from the menu. Viola! Instant answer.

That process works on most browsers and takes less than 10 seconds. On the other hand, if you were to post a comment to that status asking the person who used the term to define it for you, you’re going to wait a while for the answer. The person might not get the question right away. Then, once they post the reply, you won’t see it until the next time you log on to Facebook. It could be anywhere from a few hours to a few days before you get your answer. Googling the unfamiliar term is so much easier.

 

Detroit Lions helmet
Image via Wikipedia

Of course, the Detroit Lions lost. Again. They are 0-4. Another stellar start. Week 1 should have been a win, but thanks to the referee somhow deciding that Calvin Johnson didn’t “complete the process” of the catch (what does that even mean?), their victory was taken away. And it hasn’t gotten any better.

This past week, they came out like bumbling high schoolers that would have had a better shot against a Wisconsin junior high powder puff team rather than the Green Bay Packers. But then, in the second half, the Lions made things interesting. They scored several unanswered touchdowns, their defense stepping up (finally) to score two takeaways and bring the score within two points with six minutes left to play.

The Lions got the ball back once in those last six minutes, but failed to convert a third down and were forced to punt. Then the Pack won on simple ball control. They ran the clock down with short runs and screen passes, never giving the ball back to the Lions, never giving the defense a chance to intercept or force a fumble. Sad and tragic.

But that’s what happens when you don’t play football for 60 game minutes, instead merely choosing to play a little here and a little there. Why am I still a Lions fan????????

The Catch that Wasn’t

No matter how many times I look at this, I only see an amazing catch–the game winning touchdown. Somehow, the NFL refs manage to see an incomplete pass. How is that?

ESPN.com picked Calvin Johnson as one of the 5...
Image via Wikipedia

You can clearly see that Johnson has both feet on the ground, in bounds. The ball has broken the plain, which should count for a touchdown. In every football league in the United States of America, it actually does count as a touchdown!

But not in the NFL.

As a side note, if he had caught that outside the end zone, and stumbled into the end zone, it would have been a touchdown. But because he caught it in the end zone, the horrible rule that it isn’t a rule (it’s a judicial interpretation of a rule, but not written anywhere in the rulebook) takes effect. Calvin Johnson must maintain control of the ball for the entire “process” of catching the ball. This “entire process” is whatever the ref says it is. That means that a beautiful touchdown play like this can be erased at the whim of the referee should he decide to erase it.
It’s frustrating as a Lions fan, because there hasn’t been much for us Lions fans to get excited about over the past few years. The Lions have been a terrible team any way you slice it. They have completely bombed out their defense with (I think I heard) seven new starters this season. Which is good, because they have been seriously lacking on defense.

But they’re seriously lacking on offense, too! They haven’t been able to field a decent quarterback. The coaches have all been disappointing, to say the least. Firing Matt Millen was probably the brightest spot of the last decade, given that most of this disappointment is his fault. Finally, I see this moment in a game I was sure was lost, and I got excited. Then, the ref called it incomplete. I yelled so loud my son cried for the next half hour inconsolably.

So the Lions enter week 2 as 0-1 when they should rightfully be 1-0. I guess I should expect no less from a team that consistently failed to deliver when they had Barry Sanders on their offense. However, it would be nice, if, every once in a while, the Lions would produce a WIN.