How to Fix America

I’m going to do something that I very seldom do. I’m going to make an explicitly political post. I don’t do this because I’m a conservative and we are so very unpopular right now. “Coming out” as a conservative can ruin you on certain social media platforms (like Twitter).

But I do have something to say: our current government sucks. America is starting to suck. And I love America and want to “Make America Great Again.” Donald Trump isn’t the person to do this. Joe Biden isn’t the person to do this. And I don’t know what I’m going to do come November because I can’t bring myself to vote for either candidate.

I’ve been turning a few things over in my head, and I think I’ve realized something: never in history are we more primed than now to see a grassroots takeover of American politics. Black Lives Matter and its reliance on Marxism has turned public opinion against the white ruling class people. Once upon a time, if you were white you had a voice but now everything you say is regarded with suspicion at minimum, or just labeled outright wrong and racist at worst. Especially if it disagrees with Black Lives Matter.

Public trust in police has also been severely eroded. No longer seen as above reproach, public opinion regards police forces as racist and corrupt. Some would even go so far as to say they hunt black people the way General Zaroff did on his private island. If you support police, you’re racist.

A general trend on social media is destroying public enthrallment with the life of a billionaire. Nighttime soap operas like Dallas or Falcon Crest had viewers follow the life and drama of the wealthy. Police procedurals like Silk Stalkings had the two working-class homicide detectives investigate murders perpetrated by the wealthiest and sexiest elite.

But now, this life isn’t portrayed as glamorous but gluttonous. People want billionaires to just give them money. They have so much, right? So why shouldn’t these greedy leeches be forced to give the excess back to the public whom they exploited to get it?

Wait—exploited? You read that right. I’ve seen memes that posit billionaires don’t ever “earn” that money. Earning is conflated with doing actual work and receiving an actual paycheck. Which, of course, the wealthy don’t do. Instead, they sit back and enjoy mai tais on a beach while we, the common American workers, work back-breaking hours to barely put scraps of food on a folding card table (because we can’t afford a real dining room table) all to make them richer.

The fabulously wealthy are merely leeches, therefore, and they have no right to that wealth. They should have to give it back to the people who really “earned” it.

Elite members of society (especially the white elite), law enforcement, and the fabulously wealthy are now all seen as racist, violent, and parasitic Goliaths. The American blue-collar workers, especially the black ones, are seen as the downtrodden Davids.

Here is where Marx calls for the violent overthrow of the elites by the common man, and we are poised for a grassroots takeover of the government. But it doesn’t have to be violent. It can be peaceful, I think, if the right leader emerges. I use “he” to refer to this leader, but he need not be male. He just needs to be a charismatic outlier and preferably black.

Why can’t he be inside the government? Because they’ve had their chance, many of them for decades, to fix this problem. It isn’t theirs to fix; they’ve either created it or let it fester. It’s time for someone else to take the reigns.

Why black? Because it won’t be easy to counter the public perception of whites as bigoted racists who created the system to keep the black man down. It would also further the image of the outlier as someone who is truly “outside the system,” and therefore in no way contributed to it as it currently stands.

But why now? Because the Internet is the great equalizer. Just look at your favorite YouTubers and Twitch streamers. Ordinarily, to start a business and have the reach they do, you would need hundreds of thousands of dollars to invest in the product and inventory, not to mention advertisement. But these guys can start with minimal equipment and a few followers and grow to thousands through only word-of-mouth, or perhaps a little boost from social media and search engine ads.

Between Twitter, Facebook pages, and email subscriptions I have 1,656 followers for my blog. And I barely have anything worthwhile to say. Including this–most of which you are probably shaking your head in disbelief and disagreement at. If I can get followers, anyone can get followers. It’s easier than ever to become a social media celebrity. Anyone can get here with a little bit of effort and minimal advertising budget. And if you have really, really good things to say, then you can get here solely through word-of-mouth. It doesn’t get much more grassroots than that.

Politicians typically have something that the common man doesn’t: a media presence. But with social media, anyone can lead a campaign through Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube and never leave their home.

The grassroots takeover can only go one of two ways: with violence, or with the voice of the voter.

Marxist organizations like Black Lives Matter and the Democratic politicians would contend that violence is the only way this upheaval will occur. This is why riots are still occurring so many months after the death of the man whose name they will bear when history is written. This is also why Democrats court or encourage the riots, since the people who participate are the common man that this party purports to uplift.

But I contend that we can have a paradigm shift by the will of the voter, by voting in politicians who will act in the public’s best interest and shed their own agendas and desires. This can happen, and it can happen by following the American system of government as written in the Constitution. It starts with waking up the voters and getting the establishment out of office, and then it lies in the hands of those who replace them.

Let’s replace them with the right people this time.

NEW AUDIO: The Unliklies, Episode 6

The final episode of The Unliklies is here at last.

Now that Skeletor has joined the intrepid band of adventurers, can they retake Grayskull before all of Eternia is swallowed whole?

Trivia [SPOILERS!]

  • First complete episode to be recorded by switching between voices in one take instead of my normal method of recording each voice in its own take.
  • “O Fortuna” is the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version, purposely selected because my oldest daughter loves TSO and goes with my parents, wife, and I annually to see their concerts.
  • The “post credits scene” with Barricade and Mo-Lec-U-Lar was entirely ad-libbed after I realized that I hadn’t included Mo-Lec-U-Lar in the final battle sequence.
  • This audio drama was written in 2016, a year before Skeletor and Mumm-Ra teamed up in the MOTU/Thundercats crossover comic book series. I had that idea first!!

NEW AUDIO: The Unliklies, Part 5

Never actually put the audio in here… so I reblog, this time with the file.

Cory Tucholski: Author


I have now put part 5 of the Unliklies up for your consumption and (hopefully) approval. In this episode, the team has to find an alternate route into Castle Grayskull in order to recruit one final member of their team…

TRIVIA [spoilers]:

  • A running gag is Chip bonking someone and saying, “That’s not your catchphrase.” Here a list of stolen ones from this episode:
    • “Who disturbs my slumber?” The Cave of Wonders, Aladdin.
    • “You’ve just taken your first step into a larger world.” Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: A New Hope.
    • “Let’s get dangerous!” Darkwing Duck.
    • “No way this should have worked.” Dirk Pitt, Sahara.
    • “That name no longer has any meaning for me.” Darth Vader, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
    • “You’ll put your eye out.” Corrupted version of “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid,” a repeated line from A Christmas Story.

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NEW AUDIO: The Unliklies, Episode 2

The wait is over! Our heroes journey to the mysterious island of Anwat-Gar to recover the lost half of the Power Sword. Can they do it?


I love reading bits of trivia for movies, so I decided to post trivia with each new episode, explaining some of the finer points and illuminating a few of the inside jokes. TRIVIA BITS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, SO BE WARNED. For those uber trivia buffs, I went back and added trivia for the first episode.

  • “Release the kraken” is one of my favorite movie lines despite never having seen either Clash of the Titans movie, and I frequently use the line comically.
  • In Dungeons & Dragons, krakens have genius-level intellect and are frequently lords of large undersea kingdoms. Mikey is correct to say that the enslave surface dwellers–if they survive having their ship taken down.
  • Mikey misnaming M as Q is a veiled James Bond reference.
  • The music in the cave is from The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.
  • “I’ll dine on turtle soup tonight” is a reference to a repeated line from Shredder in the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

Characters from the Past: THE NINJA

When I decided to try to build a self-publishing empire, my immediate idea was a series of novellas similar in style to the Marvel Cinematic Universe starring my own cast of comic-book-like superheroes. Creating that cast proved to be a bit of a challenge.

And then it hit me. I didn’t have to start fresh. I had already thought up a couple of characters that would fit the bill! All I have to do is retool them a little bit. Make them more “adult” than the twelve year old me would have made them.

So I thought some fun blog posts about Then and Now would be interesting as I gear up to release the first of this exciting series, and the best start would be the hero of the story, The Ninja. Continue reading “Characters from the Past: THE NINJA”

My Little Pony: The Movie on the BS2

The Blake Snyder Beat Sheet (BS2) is an easy tool for screenwriters to make sure that they hit all of the important beats. It’s become commonplace for analysts to chart out popular movies to see if they line up with Snyder’s formula.

All the best ones do.

To celebrate my oldest daughter’s 10th birthday, we went to see My Little Pony: The Movie. I had no plans to beat this movie out, or I would have brought a pad and paper with me and took notes. This is purely from memory, so it may not be perfect. I believe this movie hits every beat that it should, and this is my BS2 analysis.


Continue reading “My Little Pony: The Movie on the BS2”

NEW AUDIO: The Unliklies, Episode #1

Imagine if Skeletor actually took over Castle Grayskull.

Imagine if, to preserve the balance of power in the universe, the Cosmic Enforcers tried to retake Castle Grayskull with a band of very unlikely heroes. In fact, they’re not heroes but sidekicks and comic relief.

That’s the premise of this audio drama serial, which will span six episodes. Orko is comissioned by a mysterious Cosmic Enforcer called M to lead a band consisting of Chip & Dale, Kwazii from the Octonauts, Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales, and Mikey from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Could he face worse odds?


  • The original plan for the Sorceress was for an actual female voice actress to perform the role. I tried to get some interest in Facebook voice acting groups I’m a part of, but no takers. I tried to get my wife to do it. Of all the vocals in this serial, I am the least proud of this one.
  • The opening narration is replaced by a theme song (of sorts) in later episodes.
  • The opening narration more or less puts this story in the continuity of the early Masters of the Universe minicomics, but with a few alterations.
  • The minicomics “The Power of Point Dread” and “The Tale of Teela” heavily influenced this serial’s backstory.
  • The Mysterious Stranger’s eerie voice is an approximate reproduction of Kylo Ren’s voice from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
  • This serial features several digs on the Filmation continuity: how there never seemed to be anyone in the Royal Palace except for the main cast, the overuse of pans and zooms, the lack of swordplay or fighting.
  • The character of M is not a James Bond reference. This M is reference to the character in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, with a similar character arc.
  • The voice I use for M is based on British actor Frank Thornton.

The Audio Drama

SoundCloud appears to be in some trouble. They won’t see a profit for two more years. Let’s face it: I’m still small potatoes. I don’t see much traffic on a robust platform like Facebook yet, let alone a dying one like SoundCloud. Therefore, I need to move my audio tracks somewhere else.

Why not consolidate?

One of the major advantages of WordPress Premium is they will host MP3 files. It just makes sense. Therefore, I have moved my audio drama serials over here, to this page. Listen and enjoy!