The Pickle Story

Emily with Gabe

In my previous post, I alluded to a hilarious event at a recent family wedding that I cryptically called “the Pickle Incident.” I mused that I would relay the facts of this incident some other time. This just became “some other time.”

During the actual wedding, my son Gabe got extremely fussy and I had to leave and take him upstairs to the “Cry Room.” It was basically a nursery, which I presume was normally staffed by the ladies of the church. In this case, no one was staffing it so I had to stay with my little man. The wedding was piped into nursery, so I got to hear everything.

After the wedding, I attempted to find everyone. I carried Gabe into another room where the remnants of the rehearsal dinner (held maybe an hour or two before the actual wedding) were sitting. Gabe was hungry, so from that table I fed him a slice of pickle (the small kind that would go on a McDonald’s hamburger, for example), which he happily chewed on.

I then saw Emily exiting the bathroom. She had taken my daughter in there following the service. So we walked downstairs to the reception (which was held in the church basement).

Once in the basement, Emily asked to hold Gabe. I obliged. When she had held him for about ten minutes, Gabe decided that he didn’t like the pickle I had given him earlier and spit it back out.

Think of this from Emily’s perspective. She didn’t know that I had just fed him a pickle. She was in the restroom when that happened. Therefore, she didn’t see it and I never told her. She didn’t realize that pickles were even an option. So for all she knew, he found this random pickle somewhere before we had left home and had been chewing on it the entire service!

Pretty gross. She, understandably, freaked out.

So, being the nice brother-in-law that I am, I immediately told her what happened so she could calm down.

Yeah, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.

No, I let her suffer for a few minutes, speculating with her friend Paige where the heck that pickle could have come from.

Then I told her, when I finally couldn’t contain my laughter. We all had a pretty good laugh over that, and I hope that you did as well, dear reader.

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