Spiritual Low Point

As I was driving to work the other day, I had a realization. I hate every last single thing about my job. There is not one redeeming quality about being a fast food manager. I absolutely loathe what I do for a living.

This really isn’t a revelation. I’ve known this for several months. I am just throughly trapped in this miserable existence because I need the salary and the insurance benefits carried with it. What came as a bit of a shock to me is that today I realized that I have to force myself to write.

Why is that so bad? The one way that I have seen to get out of the fast food trap is to open my own freelance writing business. That idea was the only thing in months that has given me a glimmer of hope in an otherwise worthless existence. It feels as if right now, all I do is simply exist.

With Jody’s blessing, I have spent some money to advertise said business. I have joined FaithWriters and I have joined Sologig–two websites that exist to connect freelancers with potential clients. Unfortunately, I have not created portfolios yet with these companies–neither of these companies will do anything for me until I do that simple action. Yet I find myself without motivation to do that. I barely find any purpose for getting out of bed anymore.

This is the same place I was in two years ago right before I quit Wendy’s. On some level, I knew that I would end up back here; I just never figured that it would be so soon.

I’m leveling with everyone who reads this for a few reasons. First, I promise all kinds of articles that never materialize. This is the main reason why. Second, I want everyone to understand the depression and the cycle that it creates. Finally, I wanted to lay the groundwork for this announcement:

Effective immediately, for an as yet undetermined time period, the apologetics on this site will focus on orthodox or abberrant theologies. I will stay away from giving answers for atheists because I do not feel spiritually strong enough to resist the siren’s call of no accountability to God that atheism presents. The arguments presented on God is Imaginary were not without some merit. This is a very dangerous line of thought that I have no desire to follow to its inevitable conclusion.

The articles for God is Imaginary will stay up, but I will not add to them except in a “I have nothing for the stinkin’ website and I’m desperate!” situation.  Perhaps after I get over this rough patch in my life, I will start adding some additional articles.

For now, I will focus on heresy and orthodoxy. In both of those, a theistic worldview is presented and there is no argument against the existence of God.

The new list of potential topics to cover looks a bit like this:

  • Examination of open theism – there may be some truths contained herein, but the God of open theism cannot be trusted
  • Examination/refutation of probabilistic prophecy – thank you, John Sanders
  • Study of Romans 9 and Calvinism/Reformed Theology – J.P. Holding at Tekton has presented a very good case against the one James White has presented
  • Examination of the Word-Faith Movement (headed by Ken Copeland, Joel Osteen, and Benny Hinn)
  • Examination of Prosperity Theology – a variation on Word-Faith that a friend at work had experienced, and turned her away from the faith for a while

Pretty much looks like the old list with the God is Imaginary material removed.

I still plan to have a domain name by the first of the year.  It’ll be something I buy with Christmas money that I will undoubtedly receive from my family.

I will also continue my lively debate with Geocreationism.   I’m also going to take a closer look at his (?) site.  I know I’ve personally been seeking a model of creation that agrees with the science rather than a model that opposes the science.  It would be nice if science and religion could actually get along someday!

Apologists should be able to pick a side and defend it.  But here, I’m just not sure.  On one hand, it sounds like a fun concept.  The Left Behind world, though theologically misguided, is a rockin’ good world to immerse yourself in.  A video game is long overdue.  On the other hand, is this really the impression we want to give an outsider?  That if you don’t convert to Christianity, we’re going to kill you in the aftermath of the eventual war that ends all wars?  People already consider Christianity intolerant because of our belief that only calling on Jesus will save you.  I don’t think that it is a good idea to create a video game with the ultimate goal of building a Christian theocracy; this is going to give unbelievers the wrong impression.

That makes them harder to evangelize.

Finally, Paul Barnes will be in my prayers.  He resigned his ministry, the one he founded in his own basement and God built to huge megachurch, over his homosexual behavior.  It was brave of him to come out of the closet and get the thorn in his flesh exposed.  I pray for his family, and his congregation, that they will be able to put this shock behind them and begin the healing process.